-
Reb Yaakov Kamenetzky had the ability to find arguments that could be grasped by secular leaders with whom he met as a representative of the Orthodox world. The talent to view the world from another’s perspective that constituted much of his genius as a ba’al eitzah was also employed with non-religious Jews. Perhaps the best-known story in this regard concerns the time that Reb Yaakov and Yerucham Meshel, then Secretary-General of the powerful Histadrut trade federation, were seated next to one another on a flight from Israel. The two had a short discussion about some questions that Meshel had on Megilas Rus. ln the course of that conversation, Meshel mentioned how solicitous two of the other passengers—a middle-aged man and a young woman — were of Reb Yaakov’ s well-being. He was amazed to learn that the man was Reb Yaakov’s son Avrohom and the girl his granddaughter. He confided sadly to Reb Yakov that he almost never saw his own grandchildren and his children only rarely. Reb Yaakov explained to him that the difference in their relationships to their children and grandchildren could be traced to their differing views of Creation. He began by asking why the verse links respect for one’s parents to the mitzva of Shabbos: ‘Your mother and father you shall fear and My Sabbaths you shall keep‘ (Leviticus 19:3). Rashi writes that the two mitzvos are joined in one verse in order to teach that even if one’s father commands him to violate Shabbos, he may not do so. But, Reb Yaakov pointed out, any other negative commandment — such as the prohibition on eating milk and meat together — could have equally well been used to teach that Hashem’s commands take precedence over those of one’s parents. Rather, said Reb Yaakov, Shabbos is specifically mentioned because it is the reminder that Hashem created the entire universe, culminating in Man, and the recognition of that fact is essential to respect tor one’s parents. ‘You, on the other hand, believe in the Darwinian view of life as the result of random, purposeless events,’ he told Meshel, ‘so as far as your descendants are concerned you’re just one genera- tion closer to the apes than they are. We, on the other hand, do not believe that we are superior to our ancestors. Quite the contrary. For us the central event in history was the Revelation at Sinai. The generations immediately after that Revelation lived in awe of their parents as people to whom G-d actually spoke. And their children in turn viewed them with veneration tor having known those who heard G-d speak. And so it is with each passing generation. My children and grandchildren honor me as one who had- contact with spiritual giants whose greatness is almost beyond their comprehension, and therefore they attribute to me a wisdom and spiritual sensitivity that they do not possess. And l, do my part try to pass on to them something of what l learned from the previous generations.’ (Reb Yaakov) (kibud av)
-
Reb Baruch Ber Liebowitz’s parents were very wealthy. During World War I, they lost their wealth and had no choice but to move in with Rabbeinu, who cared for them in every way and provided their needs. Normally, when people of wealth become impover- ished, their suffering is multiplied, but Rabbeinu succeeded in seeing to it that his parents were not reminded of their situation and felt no feelings of want or lack. For instance, if he wanted to take something out of the house, he would ask their permission, as if the item belonged to them. Any visitor who came to the house would be convinced that it was Rabbeinu who was living in his father’s home. (kibud av) (Reb Baruch Ber by Rabbi Chaim Shlomo Rosenthal)
-
Visitors to the house of the rav of Brisk were witness to a very strange custom. The Brisker Rav always entered the house through the window! The explanation for this peculiar behavior was that when The Brisker Rav would come into the room where his illustrious father was sitting, R. Chaim would rise from his seat, as is proper to do when a talmid chacham enters the room. But the Brisker Rav was not capable of accepting such honors from his father, and he found a solution. Since R. Chaim usually sat in the front room, near the door, he would sneak into the house through the back window; his father was thus unaware he had entered The Brisker Rav, By R’ Shimon Yosef Meller, Published By Feldheim page 129 (kibud av)
-
A young man informed Rabbi Chaim “Ozer that his father had applied for the post of rabbi in a nearby community, and that he was certain that if Rabbi Chaim Ozer would endorse his candidacy, he would be selected for the position. Rabbi Chaim Ozer felt that the candidate lacked the qualifications for the position, but wished to avoid saying this to the son. Instead, he tried to explain to the son that it was his practice not to interfere in the affairs of other com- munities, and that the elders would certainly make a good judgment. i The son became enraged, and began shouting at Rabbi Chaim Ozer with brazen chutzpah, accusing him of being insensitive to his father’s needs, and being,»-derelict in his responsibility to support Torah scholars. Rabbi Chaim Ozer listened to this diatribe very quietly, trying to pacify the young man, whose disrespectful talk was now peppered with insulting terms. Rabbi Chaim Ozer then arose and politely excused himself. The people who witnessed this scene were furious at the young man’s unforgivable audacity, and later said to Rabbi Chaim Ozer, “Even patience and tolerance has its limitations. Why did you not simply silence this upstart?” Rabbi Chaim Ozer said, “Why do you not understand? This young man was moved by his consideration for his father How could I become enraged over that?” (Not Just Stories By Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twersky) (love parents)
-
Even though Avimi D’bei D’R’ Avahu had five grown, ordained sons, when his father visited him, he would rush to open the door himself. As he went to open the door, he would call out, “Yes, yes,” to let his father know that he was coming. Once R’ Abbahu asked Avimi to bring him a cup of water. While Avimi went to get the water, his father fell asleep. Avimi waited by his father’s side with the cup of water in his hand until R’ Abbahu awoke (Ked. 31b) kibud av
-
Dama ben Nesina was a gentile in Ashkelon who set an example in the way in which he honored his parents. Once a group of sages came to purchase precious stones for the priestly garments. The key to the safe that held the stones was beneath the pillow of his sleeping father. Dama refused to wake his father, even at the expense of losing a sale. He was rewarded when a rare, pure, red heifer (which is used for purification) was born to one of his cows. He sold it to the Temple, thus being recompensed for the money he lost when he refused to wake his father (Ked. 31). kibud av
-
The service and honor that R’ Tarton bestowed upon his mother is legendarary. His mother was once strolling in the yard on Shabbos when the strap of her shoe broke. R’ Tarfon placed his hands beneath her feet for her to walk upon until she reached her bed (JT Ked. 1:7; c.f., BT Ked. 31b). kibud av
-
One Sunday morning Reb Shlomo Zalman gathered his students at Kol Torah and told them: “A terrible thing happened in my neighborhood and I must make you aware of it.” The students cowered in anticipation of the dire news the Goon was about to deliver. Everyone knew how deeply Reb Shlomo Zalman we involved in easing the plight of orphans and widows, and every tragic case in Israel and abroad seemed to reach his sympathetic ear. lf their Rav, who never revealed the tzarus that he encountered, wished now to relate a terrible event that had transpired, one could only imagine the gravity of the situation. The seriousness of Reb Shlomo Zalman’s disposition and the somber tone of his voice only sewed to intensify their fear that the event was even more horrendous than their vivid imaginations could conjure up. A hush of trepidation fell aver the study hall as the Gaon began to speak. Reb Shlomo Zalrnan related that on Shabbos he had. seen a man dragging benches to the shul for a collation in honor of his son’s engagement. The man’s son, who was walking at his side, did not so much as lift a finger to help his father. “I could not contain my bewilderment,” the Rav told his listeners, “and l asked the chassan to explain why his father was doing all of the shlepping. He proudly explained that even where there was an eruv, he himself did not carry on Shabbos and was therefore unable to lend a hand.” This reply enraged the Rav. The very idea of so-called religiosity taking precedence over kibud av. (kibud av) (From Jerusalem His Word)
-
The Manchester Rosh Yeshivah expected his talmidim residing in the yeshivah dormitory to write to their parents regularly. He would say that be- fore writing or phoning a parent, one should have in mind, “I am now about to fulfill the mitzvah to honor one’s parents.” The Rosh Yeshivah so valued this mitzvah that he would ask talmidim to permit him to drop their letters into a mailbox on his way home so that he could have a share in their mitzvah (and perform an act of chesed). (kibud av) (The Manchester Rosh Yeshiva)
-
Once, as the family sat around the dinner table, Rebbetzin Karelitz noticed that seven-year-old Avraham Yeshayah was not eating. When asked for an explanation, the little boy said softly, “I do not have a fork.” Looking down, his mother saw that she had somehow forgotten to give him not only a fork, but a portion as well. Avraham Yeshayah’s sensitivity at that early age had caused him to minimize his mother’s oversight as much as possible on order to avoid hurting her feelings (The Chazon Ish) (kidud av)
-
Reb Baruch Ber Liebowitz used to tell of a miracle that he experienced in Kremenchug. A soldier entered the house and wanted to take Reb Shmuel Dovid’s watch, but Reb Shmuel Dovid was not ready to give it up. The intruder started to wrestle with Rabbeinu’s father and eventually pulled out a dagger. When Rabbeinu saw this, he jumped up and began to struggle with the man, saying, “Me, not him!” Suddenly, a high-ranking officer, possibly a general, appeared at the door and ordered the soldier out of the house. Rabbeinu attributed the miracle to his willingness to sacrifice his life for the mitzvah of honoring his father. (kibud av) (Reb Baruch Ber by Rabbi Chaim Shlomo Rosenthal)
-
He travelled to Bnei Brak for the wedding of one of the recognized giants of the Torah world. Because of an obligation in Jerusalem, he had to be driven back right after the chuppah. When he had completed his local responsibility, he wished to return to the wedding celebration in order to afford greater respect to the baa] simchah in Bnei Brak. The Rosh Yeshivah mentioned his plan to his mother, who was riding in the car with him back to Jerusalem. She had a different take. “I don’t give you permission to go back, ” she said firmly. Now, let’s be honest: How many adult men would award any credence to such a statement from an elderly mother? How many roshei yeshivah who have honed an acute sense of accountability and propriety would award credence to such a statement from an elderly mother? For one: Reb Nosson Zvi. Thus, he was stuck. But, resourceful individual that he was, he did pull out his trump card. He asked his wife to call up her mother-in-law and request that Sara Finkel rescind her ban. “Nosson Zvi so keenly wants to go, but he cannot without your consent.” Permission was granted. For the Love of Torah, By Hanoch Teller, Published by Feldheim page 277 (kibud av)
